Why You Don’t Have to Smuggle Mufflers into Cuba, Solve the Energy Crisis, or Eliminate Junk Food in Vending Machines for a Memorable College Essay

Well-intentioned students often think that for a college essay to have impact, their essay must make the reader cry or convince the reader that the writer is indeed a subject matter expert in getting hair scrunchies with political slogans to the Balkans. Students often think that their college essays have to mind-boggle the reader and cover themes like "my impact investment fund which sponsors eight debate teams for young women in Kabul" or "the summer I spent placing GPS devices on endangered rhinos."   Still other students believe that there is a formula or script and that essays must contain a "shock and awe" element which describes overcoming an insurmountable hardship or tropical disaster. 

Please keep in mind that the college admissions readers pursued their vocation because of an ostensible interest in connecting with young people through their life stories and observations. I doubt any admission officer becomes highly animated while reading AP test scores or concert band assessment results. Admission officers are tasked with assembling a diverse, thoughtful and enthusiastic work force (i.e. student body) on campus. We can make their admissions job easier by remembering:

1. In the words of C.S. Lewis while instructing an aspiring writer in 1956: "Always prefer the plain direct word to the long vague one. Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean "more people died" don't say "mortality rose." I'd add to avoid words that make you sound like a Progressive Insurance commercial such as "oceans of," bailiwick, wheelhouse, quandary, pontificate, or mosaic. Using weighty metaphors usually doesn’t help you come across as relatable and conversational. 

2. Aspire to show your dimensionality. I'd much rather read about a student wrestler who enjoys competitive chess than a student who only lives and breathes by one interest alone. Students who can convey their self-awareness, particularly through disappointment, failure, or vulnerability, tend to show more depth. I'm more interested in the student who has made steady gains over time than the student who has bursts of trophy wins.  

3. Some of my favorite essays have centered on the role of caretaking, whether for a family member, their community or anyone or thing injured or in need of repair. These can be simple but profoundly beautiful essays and can showcase quiet leadership. In the words of one of my favorite impact leaders and educators James Rhee, "a real leader helps assemble ideas, celebrates other people and does things quietly." Remember that you don't have to be a "leader" in the conventional "student council president" sense to demonstrate impact.

4. Remember that your job as the essayist is not to display subject matter expertise, whether in robotics or derby roller skating or Jazz Age flappers. Your job is to try to showcase what you've learned, how you've changed, or how you have been challenged or inspired through where you spent your most time. Don't keep up your guard and by revealing who you are, this person (Admissions) will decide whether the campus wants to spend four years with you. 

5. Try to inject humility and gratitude in at least some part of your essay. In an era where a quarter of Generation Z ers aspire to be "social influencers," try to convey substance of character. A campus doesn’t need another TikTok star but does need engaged, hardworking, open-minded students who are willing to take risks and become a part of an evolving social experiment and ecosystem (campus life).

6. What can you write which displays your character? Where have you been in uncomfortable situations and stuck it out? Some of the most compelling essays reflect heavy soul searching because your essay shouldn't come across as a shiny press release (insert jazz hands here) describing how you just galloped through high school without disappointments or failure.

7. Try to be specific and concrete and quantify when you can. Try to explain complicated ideas easily and aspire to write elegantly and simply but keep in mind that your reader knows that your frontal lobe is still in development and isn't expecting you to sound like Tolstoy.

And lastly, and most importantly, keep in mind that a remarkable character is more important than remarkable feats. Remember that your family, teachers, and community are rooting for you. In the words of The Traveling Wilburys End of the Line lyrics: "Well it's all right, doing the best you can...well it's all right, everything'll work out fine..."

Megan Shugarman

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